Honestly its madness gone politically correct. HP10 9TY. 25 Funny One-Liners. A Christmas quacker 3. Cabaret 2019; Cabaret 2018; Cabaret 2017; Cabaret 2016; Cabaret 2015 cloudy squad roblox scamming. I can't wait to see all of these jokes posted individually on the front page throughout this week :D. One of the most sought after joke writers in the country and longstanding Mock the Week special guest, Gary has been through the laughing glass and he's ready to bring you a . And dont apologise, ever. Do the right thing, even when no one is watching . Hes not dead, just very condescending. Jack Whitehall, Im so ugly, my father carries around the picture of the kid that came with his wallet. Rodney Dangerfield, I said to the gym instructor: Can you teach me to do the splits? He said: How flexible are you? I said: I cant make Tuesdays. Tim Vine, I like the Pope. Minibus hits lorry debris after Ayrshire flip horror as road to remain closed for days. Which side of a turkey has the most feathers? 16 September 2022. Most of my regular venues are still out of action due to Covid hence the great many missing towns and cities. What did the farmer get for Christmas? I went thats me, and he went no, youre that mad bloke off the telly! Lee Mack, 75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips, You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today. He is known for delivering them in a slightly deadpan manner. He was camping in a nearby field and popped over to complain about the noise. Rob Brydon, So a lorry-load of tortoises crashed into a trainload of terrapins, I thought, Thats a turtle disaster. Peter Kay, I love Snapchat. If you push that down and twist it, hes full of sweets. Sean Lock, My problem with The Grand Canyon is Americans are too proud of it for my liking. I thought: 'This could be interesting.'" Paddy Lennox "I'm sure. Gary Delaney. I was the one who always got picked to play Bethlehem in the school play. Jo Brand, 50 of Tim Vines most ingenious jokes and one-liners, I thought Id begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? Youre definitely not going to learn anything, but if you like lots of jokes then its for you. Its like, See if you can blow this out. Tour dates: www.garydelaney.comThis video is all the one-liners from my first special (Comedy Club Classics 2000-2013) that I never used on Mock the Week or . 25 Funny One-Liners. If the See Tickets allocation appears to be sold out or has restricted quantities, then please contact the relevant venue as they may have further availability. Ive given up making innuendos for Lent, but its getting really hard now and Im not sure if I can pull it off. Weve just got a little dog. 11. 50 of the funniest Father Ted quotes song that gets water out your speaker. Why are Christmas trees so bad at knitting? The multiple award-winning stand-up is known for his quick wit and his amazing one-liners - as well as marrying fellow top comic Sarah Millican in 2013. Those ads you do see are predominantly from local businesses promoting local services. day in the life katylee. He pulled a cracker, 26. Beyon-sleigh (right), 27. Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas? 3:07. One of the most sought after joke writers in the country and longstanding Mock the Week special guest, Gary has been through the laughing glass and he's ready to bring you a brand new show with hit after hit of the kind of one-liners only a master . Ill give you an example. The guy who invented the other three? Youve got to when you hit them.Emo Philips, As a kid I was made to walk the plank. Dec 9, 2018. Today someone told me that I look good with a salt n pepper beard, so I took that as a condiment. Fishing One Liners It doesn't happen often, but now and again we'll come across a fishing joke that we can't stop thinking about. Its been a tough week, I bought myself a memory foam mattress and now its trying to blackmail me. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. . The barman says, Sorry we dont serve food in here. Peter Kay, I just bought underwater headphones and its made me loads faster. 27 of Sarah Millicans laugh out loud jokes Comments have been closed on this article. A tanker overturned on the A71 yesterday afternoon and a woman, 71, travelling in the minibus has been rushed to hospital. Reply. totalling 3,600 . Jimmy's Best One Liners | Jimmy Carr. The anonymous man was flying to a work conference with his boss with an airline he uses a lot and was offered a first class seat. has been through the laughing glass and he's ready to bring you a brand new show with hit after hit of the kind of one-liners only a master could craft. A stick, 5. . Nine Minutes of One-liners: Gary Delaney's hilarious first Live at the Apollo appearance. Sometimes they wear badges that say press, but if you press those badges they just fall over all surprised. Milton Jones, Toughest job I ever had? Nine minutes of one liners from Gary Delaney | Live At The Apollo | The last time I did something for 9 minutes it wasn't nearly as funny as this. Now, for the first time, comes . I can write jokes I just choose not to. Stewart Lee, Conjunctivitis.com theres a site for sore eyes. Tim Vine, Exit signs? I feel better already! Dave Barry, Its sad day when your child looks up at you and asks: Daddy, is this organic? Organic? Read more: Red, Red Wine to flow at Blenheim Palace as festival given a reggae twist. - David Letterman. Its two-tyred, 18. As last act at the end of a long record you run the risk of a tired flat audience, but you can usually take the piss a bit and run over to give the editor more to pick from. The one-liner: it's the bread and butter of stand-up comedy. Amazon.com: Pundamentalist: 1,000 jokes you probably haven't heard before eBook : Delaney, Gary: Kindle Store I mean, obviously, they don't know that yet. Ludacris) Missy Elliott 00:30 687 One-Liners (Loneliness) Heidi Foss 01:00 0 One Minute Study Music & Sounds & Deep Sleep & Yoga Workout Music 01:00 844 Outside NINEONE# 00:32 507 One Minute Song Ameen Taahir Russian dolls are so full of themselves. Why was Cinderella no good at football? It's a couple of minutes longer than the standard TV version, thought interestingly there's also half a dozen jokes they cut, which I'll stitch together and add in a new video soon. How did Scrooge win the football match? Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal. Paul F Taylor, This show is about perception and perspective. 0. Lets pretend they only actually work for 24 minutes when they work from home. "You have some comedians who are all about one-liners, people like Gary Delaney and Milton Jones, but others will use a quick line at the start of their set just to get the crowd laughing. vegitables hidden for kids. Due to phenomenal demand, the comedian will return to The Tivoli. . I said, Yes, of course. . Don't worry, I've not forgotten you! They charged one and let the other one off. Tommy Cooper, Im learning the hokey cokey. Theyre relentless. Mitch Hedberg, I rang up British Telecom and said: I want to report a nuisance caller. He said: Not you again. Tim Vine, Its amazing that the amount of news that happens in the world every day always just exactly fits the newspaper. Jerry Seinfeld, I was in my car driving back from work. The ability to comment on our stories is a privilege, not a right, however, and that privilege may be withdrawn if it is abused or misused. Gary Delaney: Gary in Punderland 9pm show Thu 29 Jul 2021 Please note, unless otherwise stated, all of our performances are strictly over 18s only . Data returned from the Piano 'meterActive/meterExpired' callback event. 25 of the greatest Absolutely Fabulous quotes, darling Jimmy's Best One Liners | Jimmy Carr. TikTok video from Funny Beeseness (@funnybeeseness): "Dark one liners from the brilliant Gary Delaney!#joke #jokes #darkhumour #oneliners # . blonde hair growing. To be fair, they do have a point though.. Starts: 20:00. The last time I did something for 9 minutes it wasn't nearly as funny as this. Comedian Gary Delaney has announced a second Warrington show as part of his new tour due to popular demand. We use your sign-up to provide content in the ways you've consented to and improve our understanding of you. . Club Sponsor. BBC Comedy - Nine minutes of one liners from Gary Delaney | Live At The Apollo Log In I hate necks.". Tour: Gary Delaney.com Twitter@GaryDelaney Facebook/Tik-tok/Instagram @GaryDelaneyComedian This is a version of my first Live at the Apollo that the BBC used on their social media. Suggs just asked me what my preferred pronouns are. I could talk about classic card games all day. Aatif Nawaz, My Dad told me to invest my money in bonds. So I can tell by the headline that Subby is a fan of Gary Delaney? Gary Delaney is currently on his UK Gary in Punderland tour. 0:58. fb.watch slim63 Never surrender. He said, Ive hurt my arm in several places. The doctor said, Well dont go there any more. - Jimmy Carr. Scots on alert for snow and ice as country prepares for coldest day of the year. Tape every gig and listen back to it. Gary Delaney "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. I owe so much money to my herb seller that hes threatened to send round the bay leafs. And its not like it was hard to find. Ed Byrne, A cement mixer collided with a prison van on the Kingston Bypass. Derry Girls: 35 of the funniest quotes and one-liners What kind of music do elves listen to? What does a football team do when the pitch is flooded? Youll progress.. Joke book 'Pundamentalist' out too. The last time I did something for 9 minutes it wasn't nearly as funny as this. Tim Vine - "My friend told me he was going to a fancy dress party as an Italian island. They left a little note on the windscreen, it said Parking Fine. So that was nice. Tim Vine, Money cant buy you happiness? Patricia Kopta, then 52, was declared dead in the US after she disappeared from her Pittsburgh home in 1992. However, the best joke writer in the world right now is Anthony Jeselnik in the States.. His style of humour is one-liners involving puns. - Gary Delaney "You give a man a fish and you feed him for a day. Learn how your comment data is processed. And its for that reason that he lost his job as chair of the British Book Cover Awards panel. I was the last act recorded on the second show but the order was changed when it was shown on TV to show me as the opener. Okay guys, this is epic. Get ready to dive into a rabbit hole of the best jokes in the world - star of Live at the Apollo and sell-out sensation Gary Delaney is back! 75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips All Bundy; Al Bundy; Peggy Bundy; Kelly Bundy; Bud Bundy; Marcy D'arcy; Jefferson D'arcy; Top 10 Latest Monthly what to do for skincare night. 50 of the best lines from Peep Show Firstly, you should always check that the application youre downloading is freeand its compatible for the platform youre using. Following an impressive support from Steve Day, who explores prejudice and the consequences of Boris Johnson's obsession with stealing the . A mince spy (below left), 2. One-Liner Jokes. 5. I was a test-tube baby. Billy Connolly, Im sure wherever my Dad is: hes looking down on us. I always prefer being live on stage, he says. 17. . All rights reserved. Performing. 25 of Lee Macks wittiest jokes and one-liners S_hinch69. Here are some of his funniest jokes to tempt you! Theres just you and an audience and no editor to cut out the bits that dont work. The study of why triangular sandwiches taste better is known as trigonom-nom-nomnometry. I didn't give a shit. Nine minutes of one liners from Gary Delaney | Live At The Apollo View Transcript My grief counselor died recently but Luckily, he was so good. Because hes Tudor.Adele Cliff, Dont you hate it when people assume youre rich because you sound posh and went to private school and have loads of money?Annie McGrath, If youre being chased by a pack of taxidermists, do not play dead. I played a wall once. A Christmas quacker, 3. Gary Delaney is a razor sharp one-liner comedian, widely regarded as being the most quotable comic on the circuit. Whats the point?Alexei Sayle, Im looking for the girl next door type. 9 minutes of Oneliners. One of the most sought after joke writers in the country and longstanding Mock the Week special guest, Gary has been through the laughing glass and he's ready to bring you a brand new show with hit after hit of the kind of one-liners only a master . New tour Gary in Punderland on sale, new dates added. Last edited: 23 Jun 2021. Its Christmas, Eve. Jokes tweeted aren't in the live shows. Its not my fault, its a condition. by Team Scary Mommy. 1. Who hides in a bakery at Christmas? I thought: This could be interesting. Kathy Friend, from Glasgow, was involved in a number of nature-related ventures, and formerly worked as a camerawoman. shooting in worcester, ma 2021 two electric meters, one property nz gary delaney 9 minutes of one liners. Also live is more fun as its in the moment. gary delaney one liners 2019 gary delaney one liners 2019 (No Ratings Yet) . But it all just sounded like haw he saw he haw he haw. So I ordered French toast during the Renaissance. Steven Wright, Id like to start with the chimney jokes Ive got a stack of them. It's called integrity. Theyre on the way out! Tim Vine, I saw a documentary on how ships are kept together. These adverts enable local businesses to get in front of their target audience the local community. Family of Scot left disabled after breaking back in car crash raising funds for trial. An owl is essentially a one-piece unit. Ross Noble, If a role requires a haircut, I say I wont do it. A Holly Davidson, 36. Replace your weakest material with better new stuff its an ongoing process. One day I nearly choked on part of The Sunday Times. Milton Jones, I went to by a watch and the man said, analogue? I said, no thanks, just the watch. COLLABRO RETURNS TO LONDON WITH A BRAND-NEW CONCERT TOUR THIS CHRISTMAS! The show is sold out but check for returns at 01235 515144, Garys top one-liners (some are better than others!). We couldnt afford a dog. Gary Delaney, I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. Get ready to dive into a rabbit hole of the best jokes in the world - star of Live at the Apollo and sell-out sensation Gary Delaney is back! Whenever new tickets go on sale I'll let everyone on my mailing list know. No one else can deliver jokes at such volume and velocity nor with such scatter gun abandon. Apparently Dance like no one is watching doesnt mean With your cock out. Hes not dead, just very condescending.Jack Whitehall, Trumps nothing like Hitler. 4 yr. ago. "Hard to tell if . But he hesitated Andy Field, Combine Harvesters. I said to him 'Don't be Sicily.'" That is wrong on so many different levels.Tim Vine, I picked up a hitch hiker. It was a tribute actTim Vine, Why is it old people say theres no place like home, yet when you put them in one Stuart Mitchell, Ive been happily married for four years out of a total of 10.Mark Watson, Apparently one in three Britons are conceived in an IKEA bed which is mad because those places are really well lit.Mark Smith, I went to a pub quiz in Liverpool, had a few drinks so wasnt much use. Jimmy's Best One Liners | Jimmy Carr. He gives them the sack, 40. female killua cosplay makeup tutorial. 5) Gary Delaney "As a kid I was made to walk the plank. Nine minutes of one liners from Gary Delaney | Live At The Apollo The last time I did something for 9 minutes it wasn't nearly as funny as this. Report Save Follow. The 20 most nonsensical quotes from the W1A team The young couple next door to me have recently made a sex tape. Now, for the first time, comes the first collection of his finest jokes. I choose round. Sarah Millican, When you eat a lot of spicy food, you can lose your taste. 25 of the most textbook Alan Partridge quotes His wisecracks are so daft and occasionally clever that it is impossible not to laugh, and you stand a realistic chance of pulling a muscle in your side. I said: I want to make a complaint this vinegars got lumps in it. He said: Those are pickled onions. Tim Vine, My grandfather invented the cold air balloon but it never really took off. Milton Jones, I moved to a well-to-do area. PIP health conditions most-likely to be given a weekly payment of up to 156 from DWP. Currently on sale dates are here www.garydelaney.com. 5. Whos Rudolphs favourite singer? Post author: Post published: February 16, 2022 Post category: gymnastika pre deti dubravka Post comments: cooper hospital kronos login cooper hospital kronos login what is true of agile pm and large projects? Frostbite, 33. He never reads any of mine. Spike Milligan, The anti-ageing advert that I would like to see is a baby covered in cream saying, Aah, Ive used too much! Andrew Bird, I needed a password eight characters long, so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Nick Helm, A few decades ago we had Johnny Cash, Bob Hope and Steve Jobs. I realised that . Gary, Indiana: Gary is a city in Lake County, Indiana, United States, 25 miles (40 km) from downtown Chicago, Illinois . The Inbetweeners star Greg Davies, veteran stand-up Jo Caulfield, and one-liner specialist Gary Delaney join host Dara O'Briain and regulars Chris Addison, Hugh Dennis and Andy Parsons. What has four wheels and flies? eBay. Lee Mack, As a kid I was made to walk the plank. 51M views, 119K likes, 5.6K loves, 25K comments, 101K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BBC Comedy: The last time I did something for 9 minutes it wasn't nearly as funny as this. Gary in Punderland Tour 50 percent of people who go to watch The Cure actually end up watching Placebo, and enjoy it just as much. Doctor Who - Best One-Liners Take II. And that's just in the hot dogs.". steve kuhnau biography. "I like a woman with a head on her shoulders. Paper Subscription to the Daily Record and Sunday Mail, Paper Subscription to the Paisley Daily Express, 2023 Scottish Daily Record and Sunday Mail Ltd, Meet the Big Issue seller who's walking tour sheds a light on Glasgow's hidden history, Woman reveals incredible seven stone weight loss and her new diet plan, Child Benefit payments will increase next month - here are the new weekly rates. I shouted Stop! but if anything that made it worse. This site is part of Newsquest's audited local newspaper network. 75 of Billy Connollys best jokes, one-liners and quips Always listen to the audience, they ultimately decide what is funny and they will tell you who you are, and what you should be saying., Gary Delaney plays the Cornerstone Didcot on Saturday. No, he was self-taught, 9. Can you smell carrots?, 17. Music Is A Weapon | Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In | George. On Saturday he brings his new show Gagsters Paradise, to Didcots Cornerstone arts centre. She said hardback? and I was like, yeah and little heads. Mark Simmons, Whats Postman Pat called on his holiday? Gary Delaney is another comic who can take the one-liner to the darker side. With a bag full of quick one-liners, comedian Gary Delaney is a favorite around the comedy club circuit around the UK. Every Christmas Day we always have pigs in blankets, or as you probably call it, relatives sleeping in the spare room. But you teach a man to fish - saved yourself a fish haven't you?" - Lee Mack "Crime in multi-storey car parks. I bought my nephew a caterpillar cake without checking the best before date, so now hes got a butterfly cake. Get the latest top news stories sent straight to your inbox with our daily newsletter. Santa Jaws, 28. Yeah. The Good Morning Britain presenter has opened up about the heartbreaking moment in an emotional interview. I was in a fancy lingerie shop and I said are these knickers satin, they said no theyre new. So I always want as many people to see it as possible. The set is all jokes taken from my first and second tour shows. When do vampires like horse racing? On the dark side, 47. 50 of Frankie Boyles funniest (and darkest) jokes Flight attendant explains benefit of skipping in-flight meals on long haul trips. The winger says it wasn't nice to read but he will only use it as positive energy. Music Is A Weapon | Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In | George. Gary Delaney: Gary in Punderland. 2. 47M views, 5.2K likes, 268 loves, 3.1K comments, 8.1K shares, Facebook Watch Videos from BBC Comedy: The last time I did something for 9 minutes it wasn't nearly as funny as this. Theres a name for itJimeoin, I have two boys, 5 and 6. [1] #reaction #comedy #standupcomedy Original Video: Gary Delaney | Ruthless One Linershttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kIuEWlHcecA&t=6sSupport the Channel: https. stop right now yandere. Define One-liners. Retired detective Allan Jones claims Sinclair should have been tried for the murders Anna Kenny, Hilda McAuley and Agnes Cooney. How does Darth Vader like his Christmas turkey? Man lured to death by 'honeytrap' pair who robbed him of fake Rolex after Instagram plot. Isabella Grace Docherty, known as Bella, tragically passed away on Tuesday, February 14, hours after she began complaining of feeling sick. I mean my anxiety is through the roof but record times. Felicity Ward, 100 of the best ever jokes and one-liners from the Edinburgh Fringe, I went to a restaurant that serves breakfast at any time. Tickled pink: Tim Vine, winner of the funniest one liner at the Edinburgh Fringe, and the man who once told 499 jokes in one hour Dark one liners from the brilliant Gary Delaney!#j oke # j okes # d arkhumour # o neliners # c omedy # s tandupcomedy # g arydelaney # f unny # f unnyvideos # f y # f ypage # f yp. When its neck and neck, 49. It takes so much effort to get an hour together of tightly written one-liners and Gary always delivers." But he wasnt involved in the fighting. Jimmy's Best One Liners | Jimmy Carr. Eight out of 10 people said they really rather liked it.". 50 of Milton Joness most ingenious jokes and one-liners 3 minutes of one liners from Gary Delaney . He keeps a yule logbook. 25 Feb/23. But my husband wouldnt let me.RiaLina, Money cant buy you happiness? Dark one liners from the brilliant Gary Delaney!#j oke # j okes # d arkhumour # o neliners # c omedy # s tandupcomedy # g arydelaney # f unny # f unnyvideos # f y # f ypage # f yp. 3.8K Likes, 34 Comments. Gary Dalaney was asked to come up with the festive funnies. The other day, a woman described me as a bit of a looker. What happened to Santa when he went speed dating? Thanks a lot. That is wrong on. Early life [ edit] Gary Delaney received a degree in Economics from the London School of Economics, owing to his childhood desire to be a bond trader. I tell you what makes my blood boil, faulty spacesuits. Here are 110 of the best clean jokes from comedians young and old. Copy it to easily share with friends. one-liner synonyms, one-liner pronunciation, one-liner translation, English dictionary definition of one-liner. what to do when he breaks your heart. Selling doors, door-to-door. Bill Bailey, My therapist told me the way to achieve true inner peace is to finish what you start. jock itch healing stages pictures. 25 of the most cantankerous Martin Crane quotes from Frasier The tensest crowd Ive ever seen was at the funeral of the man who invented the Jack-in-the-box. I keep about one in 20 of the jokes I write, so I have to write and test over 4,000 to make a new tour show.. 25 of Lee Macks wittiest jokes and one-liners We couldn't afford a dog." If youre looking for a few jokes to use at a family get-together that wont offend any of your more sensitive relatives, youve come to the right place. Doctor Who - Best One-Liners Take II. sneaky burger. Well, check this out, I bought myself a Happy Meal. Paul F Taylor, A man walked into the doctors. With a 'colder than average' start to March, a Scots charity has launched a hub offering warm clothing to those in need. shahid afridi bowled. Time to get a new fence, 24. Theres no way he could write a book Frankie Boyle, Ive given up asking rhetorical questions. ' Paddy Lennox, Im sure wherever my dad is; hes looking down on us. From here it looks like its probably the Duke of Edinburgh Milton Jones, A cowboy asked me if I could help him round up 18 cows. It was my turn to walk him, and as I was leaving the house my wife reminded me: Dont forget poobags?. | By BBC Comedy Get ready to dive into a rabbit hole of the best jokes in the world - star of Live at the Apollo and sell-out sensation Gary Delaney is back! No one else can deliver jokes at such volume and velocity. Gary Delaney "I was watching the London Marathon and saw one runner dressed as a chicken and another runner dressed as an egg. | By BBC Comedy Define one-liner. Were no good at naming things in our house Ed Byrne, I wasnt particularly close to my dad before he died which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine Olaf Falafel, Whenever someone says, I dont believe in coincidences. I say, Oh my God, me neither! Alasdair Beckett-King, A friend tricked me into going to Wimbledon by telling me it was a mens singles event Angela Barnes, As a vegan, I think people who sell meat are disgusting; but apparently people who sell fruit and veg are grocer Adele Cliff, For me dying is a lot like going camping. Second Scots teaching union to ballot members on 'paltry' new pay offer. I thought, thats Abba-riginal. Tim Vine, I think the worst thing about driving a time machine is your kids are always in the back moaning, Are we then yet? Paul F. Taylor, Two monkeys were getting into the bath. Then the other eyelid. Ken Dodd, I like rice. 20 of Malcolm Tuckers most cutting insults Editors' Code of Practice. 50 of Frankie Boyles funniest (and darkest) jokes Background: When you play the London Comedy Store they always record your set from their fixed camera, and you can get a DVD of it for your own records if yo. What school subject are snakes best at? It was recorded at the Hammersmith Apollo on 6th September 2017. Theres no other word for it Ross Smith, I accidentally booked myself onto an escapology course; Im really struggling to get out of it Adele Cliff, 25 of Peter Kays most ingenious jokes and one-liners What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence? GARY Delaney is the master of the one-liner; a one-man machine gun of gags, which he unleashes on his audiences without mercy. Gary Delaney, one-liner extraordinaire, has appeared on shows like Mock The Week and written for the likes of Jimmy Carr, Jason Manford, and James Corden. How to get can spray in dh. One is really heavy, the other is a little lighterMasai Graham, Jesus fed 5,000 people with two fishes and a loaf of bread. Shes 97 now and we dont know where she is. Ellen DeGeneres, I got a great review this morning. The President of France said this week that English speakers were arrogant in their refusal to learn other languages, at least I think thats what he said. A cowculator, 15. Lanterns lit in memory of tragic Scots girl, 5, seen from plane by family flying home. Why does your nose get tired in winter? Emposter. Please, for the love of God, have the slightest bit of creativity and do not put the punchline of the joke in the title. Whats a horses favourite TV show? ' Alan Carr, The easiest time to add insult to injury is when youre signing somebodys cast. Demetri Martin, I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldnt find any. Tommy Cooper, My wife its difficult to say what she does.