Prof Thuggy aka Professor Thug 32K views 1. You should die first; get it out of the way. Thats the problem. George Carlin, I would never want to be a member of a group whose symbol was a man nailed to two pieces of wood. George Carlin, Governments dont want a population capable of critical thinking; theywant obedient workers, people just smart enough to run the machines and just dumb enough to passively accept their situation. George Carlin, How can He be perfect? The v1st cookie is set by TripAdvisor to collect details about how visitors use the website, by displaying user reviews, awards and information received on the TripAdvisor community. Set aside 30 minutes to watch investigative journalist Whitney Webb speak with MintPress News in the video above. You know what the motto for this country ought to be? "Careful, if you think too much, theyll take you away. RLCDN sets this cookie to provide users with relevant advertisements and limit the number of ads displayed. It also helps for marketing automation solution for B2B marketers to track customers through all phases of buying cycle. George Carlin Quotes (Author of Brain Droppings) - Goodreads Part of HuffPost Entertainment. At all. ", 26. ", 43. ", 114. In the footage from his 1996 HBO special, "Back In Town," Carlin tears into the pro-life movement: "Pro-life conservatives are obsessed with the fetus from conception to 9 months. "Would a fly without wings be called a walk? "Maybe its not the politicians who suck; maybe its something else. 123 Rocky_Roku 1 yr. ago Didn't he say that he despised liberalism just as much as conservatism? Now I feel better. "How is it possible to have a civil war? Whatever you do dont make it go viral! ", 54. I like it when a flower or a little tuft of grass grows through a crack in the concrete. ", 66. Thats what the owners count on, Carlin intones. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. May 12, 1937 June 22, 2008. 'George Carlin - Life Is Worth LosingRecorded 5 Nov 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New YorkReleased: January 10, 2006Audio-visual content monetised by copyright claimant, MPI Media They own you. I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be. Trump did not fall to Earth from. Ice Cube Shares George Carlin Quote About Politicians: 'They Own You' Conservatives want live babies so they can raise them to be dead soldiers. Used to help protect the website against Cross-Site Request Forgery attacks. After that, they don't want to know about you. ""I don't think we should be governing ourselves. Theyll get it. Transcribed part of speech begins at 10.33 13 May 1999, National Press Club, Washington DC, USA This is an incomplete transcript made by Raven Developers . ", 53. I don't have to tell you my favorite comedian just like I don't have to say my favorite meal to tell the chef his food sucks. I think I need to show them that I have brought myself to a cleverer, smarter spot than they have.". This Cookie is used by Yahoo to anonymously store data related to user's visits, such as the number of visits, average time spent on the website and what pages have been loaded. ", 77. "Weather forecast for tonight: dark. Everybody complains about politicians. 'He's two' will do just fine. You have OWNERS! This is what we have to offer. The politicians are put there to give you the idea you have freedom of choice. We're so self-important. This is set on the first visit of the visitor to the site and updated on subsequent visits. ", 58. ", 104. ", 109. Vimeo installs this cookie to collect tracking information by setting a unique ID to embed videos to the website. It covers the most famous 'rant' part of the speech. Now having somewhat successfully established my Press credentials and TOP 25 QUOTES BY GEORGE CARLIN (of 976) | A-Z Quotes The very existence of flamethrowers proves that sometime, somewhere, someone said to themselves, "You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.". Going after racists, sexists, fascists, and aiming to bring those who try to restrict freedom to justice. ""Think about how stupid the average person is, and then realize that half of 'em are stupider than that. 42. Everything He ever makesdies. George Carlin, The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. Its because volunteers work for no pay. -George Carlin There you are. This cookie, set by DataXu, tracks the advertisement report which helps to improve the marketing activity. "I was a loner as a child. Religion is like a pair of shoes, you have to find the one that fits you. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? Like the public. "Never argue with an idiot. And if they tell you youre not a team player, congratulate them on being observant. George Carlin. We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. I will not, however, be responsible for the consequences. AshwaniGarg on Twitter: "RT @JamesMelville: "They own everything If they say, Were the So-and-Sos, take a walk. The late George Carlin was a genius with words, a deft dasher of conventional logic, and a master observer (and master-baiter!) "Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. And if somehow, you must join, if its unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. They own everything. "Is a vegetarian permitted to eat animal crackers? "Most people work just hard enough not to get fired and get paid just enough money not to quit. Determines whether the visitor has accepted the cookie consent box. ", 39. ", 56. And nobody seems to notice, nobody seems to care. Weve also included some of his sketches from YouTube, viral videos of jokes you might have heard once or twice before. You know what they want? ", 25. AddThis sets this cookie to track page visits, sources of traffic and share counts. These current events and social issues that are relevant today . 120+ George Carlin Quotes On Politics, Government And Religion If you're born in America you get a front row seat. Deal with it. Known for his funny and sarcastic quotes, we think you'll get a kick out of his words. 44. In fact, liberals are so successful at winning the culture war that they are alienating most Americans. I don't always agree with everything he says, but I always listen Given the nature of our current Administration, I thought it timely to revisit what George said years ago (Back In Town HBO Special, 1996 . Because he was a genius, and here are 11 quotes that prove it: 1. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. #AmericaWakeUp pic.twitter.com/vy2zz0j8DB, Mrs. Krassenstein (@HKrassenstein) July 26, 2020. ""Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity. They've got you by the balls. Famous and remained in the controversies for his dark comedy and the reflections on politics, religions, and social taboo, Carlin is . 60+ Hilarious George Carlin Quotes and Jokes | Thought Catalog George Denis Patrick Carlin ( May 12, 1937 - June 22, 2008) was an American stand-up comedian, actor, author, singer, voice artist, and comedian, noted especially for his irreverent attitude and his observations on politics, language, psychology, and religion, as well as some taboo subjects. "Life is not measured by the number of breath we take, but by the moments that take our breath away. "Everyone smiles in the same language. ", 72. The table has tilted, folks. '""I have solved this political dilemma in a very direct way: I don't vote. At all. ", 105. So I don't trust none of them. "But what I want them to know is that Im thinking. The game is rigged. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary". They own all the important land. AddThis sets this cookie to ensure that the updated count is seen when one shares a page and returns to it, before the share count cache is updated. Deal with it. George Carlin, Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. George Carlin, Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do practice? George Carlin, Were so self-important. George Carlin: 'Politicians don't actually say things, they INDICATE I'm your huckleberry. It takes up a lot of your time. Carlin also said conservatives claim theyll do anything for the unborn. He famously said he didn't vote, so he couldn't be to blame for whatever shit show we got ourselves into. That would be a nice realistic campaign slogan for somebody: The public sucks. "I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. God has a three-day weekend. George Carlin, The real reason that we cant have the Ten Commandments in a courthouse: You cannot post Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not commit adultery, and Thou shalt not lie in a building full of lawyers, judges, and politicians. The late great stand-up, actor and occasional philosopher George Carlin was known to cross the lines of what polite society would call good taste, but he himself drew a few lines when it came. This cookie is set by the provider The Guardian. George Carlin's acerbic wit and profound societal insights were a one time cultural phenomenon. By clicking Accept, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. 'Tom, I'd like you to meet the girl of my dreams, Tragedy.' OK? Bing Ads sets this cookie to engage with a user that has previously visited the website. George Carlin: Complaints & Grievances (2001) - IMDb This cookie is set by DoubleClick and is used for re-targeting, optimisation, reporting and attribution of online adverts. Everybody complains about politicians. . And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. George Carlin - Wikiquote Set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category . The first one is: 'Never believe ANYthing the government says.' George Carlin Believe, Government, Rules To Live By 48 Copy quote Tell people an invisible man in the sky created all things, they believe you. ", 3. 43. PayPal sets this cookie to enable secure transactions through PayPal. Maybe something else sucks around here like, the public. ", 17. ALEX COHEN, host: Carlin died yesterday of heart failure. The great American comedian George Carlin died on June 22, 2008 at the age of 71. Others see it half empty. ", 106. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. . The 2023 theme was "cooperation in a fragmented world," with WEF noting, "The world today is at a critical inflection point. And they all vote. Keep your circle small. Daniel Kurtzman is a political journalist turned satirist. Carlin passed away in 2008 before he could see the prescience of his comedic wit and intelligence with the rise of Republican Donald Trump's candidacy this year. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. "My advice: just keep moving straight ahead. I didn't bother with him. Thats right. On Election Day, I stay home. You have owners. The cookie is a session cookies and is deleted when all the browser windows are closed. Its so fuckin heroic. George Carlin, If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? George Carlin, Some people see things that are and ask, Why? Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not? Some people have to go to work and dont have time for all that. George Carlin, The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. They never mention that part to us, do they? Whats that, a bonus? Full transcript of George Carlin's "Dumb Americans," excerpted from "Life is Worth Losing, his 13th live comedy stand-up special, performed at the Beacon Theatre in New York City for HBO. Enter your email address to follow Motley News. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying. Ice Cube may be engaging in a political kerfuffle with Democrats following the news of his latest partnership with President Donald Trump's administration for the "Platinum Plan," but the rapper and actor is keen on letting his fans and followers know that he is not necessarily banding together with the government, despite what the past week of headlines might suggest. "Boy, these conservatives are really something, arent they? Ice Cube also recently voiced concerns that neither political party would actually be able to make a positive change for the betterment of Black Americansand that's reportedly the rapper's whole reasoning for working with the White House on the Platinum Plan, which aims to develop Black businesses and communities. ", 37. Recorded on November 5, 2005, Beacon Theater, New York City, New York. They will do anything for the unborn. They will only bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. This cookie is set by Prebid Server. This cookie is set by Eloqua. JIM STAFFORD. It sounds like this: What, they have bigger dicks? ", 24. Amen and Awomen. You dont. This information is then used to select advertisements delivered by the platform and measure the performance of the advretisement and attribute their payments. Everybody says they suck. You'd have people tuning in don't even care about football! RT @JamesMelville: "They own everythingThey don't care about youThey got you by the balls." ~ George Carlin He absolutely nailed it. "Tell people there's an invisible man in the sky who created the universe, and the vast majority will believe you. They are irrelevant. ", 32. Politicians don't care about you. It doesn't matter what side you're on This cookie is used for implementing audio files on the website. George Carlin is Back from the Dead to Haunt Trump in Devastating '", 70. "There's a humorous side to every situation. "You show me a lazy p***k who's lying in bed all day, watching TV, only occasionally getting up to p**s, and I'll show you a guy who's not causing any trouble. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. And apparently, I'm not a very good American because I like to form my own opinions. 28. r/antiwork. You ever notice that? ", 110. ", 119. September 12, 2019. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. They own you. "The Christians gave Him Sunday, the Jews gave Him Saturday, and the Muslims gave Him Friday. The Bachelorette's Angie Kent and Carlin Sterritt have been on holiday together in Vietnam the past week and sharing lots of glamorous selfies. "Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. ", 55. "If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done? December 2, 2015, 3:27 PM. CMPRO cookie is set by CasaleMedia for anonymous user tracking, and for targeted advertising. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, youre going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. How do school teachers handle this? Carlin's rueful 1996 routine about conservatives' opposition to abortion ("they will do anything for the unborn, but once you're born, you're on your own") became a newly viral phenomenon and. It May Not Seem That Way, but Politicians Often Do What Voters Want This cookie is set by Rubicon Project and is used for recording cookie consent data. 41. Set by Bluekai, this cookie stores anonymized data about the users' web usage in an aggregate form to build a profile for targeted advertising. "I don't have pet peeves. It helps in improving the performance. "Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that. He was regarded as one of the most important and influential stand-up comics of all time. He has written many books full of brutally honest sayings and jokes, like Brain Droppings, When Will Jesus Bring the Porkchops?, Last Words, and more. 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 12 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 3 hours 5 minutes, 15 years 6 months 5 days 1 hour 16 minutes. The people left of center were liberals; the people right of center were conservatives. The cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. ", 83. 'Punching down,' the political weapon of so-called tough guys These Politicians Don't Care About You At All The failures of people who supposedly represent the people Photo by Marco Oriolesi on Unsplash When people elect leaders in a democracy, the. We're all fucked," Carlin once said. ", 41. No nothing! They dont want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. This anonymous data helps us to better understand users' needs and customize the website accordingly. They own everything. "My mother would say, 'Why are you always playing alone?' It creates a hostile work environment. George Carlin, The reason I talk to myself is because Im the only one whose answers I accept. George Carlin, May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. George Carlin, The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live. George Carlin, Scratch any cynic, and you will find a disappointed idealist. George Carlin, I think the warning labels on alcoholic beverages are too bland. Germany lost the Second World War. ", 60. "Isnt it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do 'practice? "I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a lot more as they get older, and then it dawned on me theyre cramming for their final exam. Thats the problem. From Life Is Worth Losing. (LogOut/ "When fascism comes to America, it will not be in brown and black shirts. My first rule: I dont believe anything the government tells me. They will do anything for the unborn. Its because volunteers work for no pay. You throw out the first three commandments, wssst! These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads. ", 7. AA: George Carlin can say some outrageous things -- years ago the US Supreme Court found his "seven filthy words" monolgue "indecent." RS: But when he stopped at the National Press Club in. What are George Carlin's political leanings? - Quora ", 74. ", 116. Pattern Integrity Films set the bit to photos and video clips from modern-day America and the result is devastating. "A good motto to live by: 'Always try not to get killed. he was a conservative. In fact, sometimes you get the impression that theyre the only ones who vote. "Isnt making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool? ", 124. Term limits aint going to do any good; youre just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. 2024 George Carlin for president! RIP : r/antiwork Lijit Advertising Platform sets this cookie temporarily, when multiple partners pass their IDs to the platform simultaneously. Its called fucking with people! ", 2. You dont have to be a historian or a political scientist to see the bigger-dick foreign policy at work. ", 111. "People always tell me 'Have a nice day.' Teach them to question what they read. Answer (1 of 12): He was a liberal. They dont fall out of the sky. George Carlin may be dead, but his spirit lives on. LinkedIn sets this cookie from LinkedIn share buttons and ad tags to recognize browser ID. It's a Big Club, and You Ain't in It: George Carlin as Social and
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