Explained! He watched the preacher walk confidently to the first tee, a short par-4. Remote controlled buggy and replacement grips. 8 Messy Room by Shel Silverstein. Daphne du Maurier, The Birds And Other Stories. The group raced up to the two golfers and asked a single question: What was the bet?, Steve had tried to be particularly careful about his language as he played golf with his preacher. They deserve to be appreciated! "The most important shot in golf is . But near the hole displays the greatest art. Disclaimer: As an Amazon associate and associate to other companies, we earn from qualifying purchases. Legalize Mulligans! Health, happiness, harmony, friendship, and fame. "Well, it's only right," the first golfer replies. Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing. I know I am getting better at golf because I am hitting fewer spectators., 41. The club, the spoon, the putter, and the ball: For all is doneeach ball arranged on tee. 33. Golf funny poems or funny poems about Golf. She said "Good, I'll be there at 6:30 or quarter to seven. The Spider and the Fly by Mary Howitt. Golf camaraderie, like that of astronauts and Antarctic explorers, is based on a common experience of transcendence; fat or thin, scratch or duffer, we have been somerwhere together where non-golfers never go.. In addition to golf Poems of famous poets, there is a huge collection of other unique poems in our website. And makes him miss his putt; Baird holes the ball; Thus, with but one to play, tis even all! Golf humorous me sports flog is an apt anagram of golf i d watched the open and the masters and thought that l d give golf a try i hired some clubs and little white balls from the tee i hoped my ball would sail high i lined up perfectly and took a swing but the ball stayed on that little blue tee i tried again and missed it once more. May your pockets hold always a coin or two. . I regard golf as an expensive way of playing marbles dave barry. Isnt it obvious whether or not she is still alive?, Well, said Rick. The only time my prayers are never answered is on the golf course.. The Rock and the Bubble by Louisa May Alcott. Since a lost ball carries a two-stroke penalty, Lou pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. What Is A Concession In Golf? A life built on the sands of celebrity. 1. Whilst with long strokes, and short strokes, they tend to the goal. Can be blown down by the winds of disillusionment. The female muse has sung the game of Goff. Four guys who worked together always golfed as a group at 7 a.m. Sunday. Because these poems are so short, they offer plenty of room for humor. What Is A Free Drop In Golf? Click on the poem title below to browse through the golf Poems both from famous poets and those submitted in our site. 36 Famous Golf Quotes and Funny Golf Sayings Magazines, 24: Online Golf quotes & golf quotes funny. The lady golfer was a determined, if not very proficient, player. Yes, these will be your golden years. Molly, his wife, told him, 'Tomorrow there better be something in the driveway for me that goes from zero to 200 in 2 seconds flat.'. Arnold Palmer. How Many Golf Courses Are There In The World. 'Cause then I would lose those sweet five hour buffers! Have all been dissected till nothing works right. 31. Otherwise, I hope you enjoyed these short one liners. Breathing of honour, joy, and love and fame. Do you have a favorite golf joke or golf pun that we missed? Golf balls are like eggs. Thro all its bearings, to the human race; The tee, the start of youththe game, our life. Where we strike offoh, neer to be forgot. The Golf Tragic. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. The man has a little dog with him and on the first green, when the man holes out a 20 foot putt. It has charms for the aged, as well as the young. Time to get back to the quick golf zingers! There young Patullo stands, and he, methinks. He would have promisd, in the land of light. ORourke, Modern Manners: An Etiquette Book For Rude People. Continue with Recommended Cookies. Feel free to recite these at family gatherings or to a loved one. Actually, the only time I ever took out a one-iron was to kill a tarantula. You might also like these funny quotes about golf. The poem captures this post-war mood, and is even shorter than Frost's 'The Road Not Taken'. What Does It Mean When Your Golf Tee Flies Backward? This page will feature funny quotes about golf and other humorous words about the game. And win, perhaps, three matches out of four. Again, she showed up at 6:30 Sunday morning. How Many Golf Courses Are There In The World. Get exclusive access to new product drops, deals & giveaways! Authors; Topics; Movie Quotes; TV Show Quotes; QuotesGram. A most disgusting steal; well, come away. We are pretty confident none of these will work in the 19th hole. See more ideas about golf quotes golf golf humor. autosweblog.com. . People like poetry, and they also love humor. I then might shake the gazing world like them; Time-honourd Golf!I heard it whisperd once, That he who could not play was held a dunce. Amy. He still tossed and turned. Its alive, this swing, a living sculpture! whose shoes don't fit on his small feet? Quotes. Sent the ball flying after it was hammered! What Is A Concession In Golf? These are the best golf poems ever. Quote #49 "Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick." P.J. Funny Golf Meme The Part Of The Game Photo. You're not "over the hill", you're on the "back nine". I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyones game: Its called an eraser. -, 23. World's okayest golfer. I stepped on a rake., 44. Took a room in a whorehouse in Natchez. Short Funny Golf Quotes I cant wait to be that age and hanging out with a bunch of people hanging out all day playing golf and going to the beach, all my own age. 4 - do not enter poems you don't want printed in my booklets! Too bad his toes don't smell so sweet. There s a lot to laugh about golf. O'Rourke. Knock, knock. cheeseburger. come, theres another sich.. Hopefully, you enjoyed these poems that should be some of the best golf poems ever! Then, tho rough be the course, and the winning post far, Let it guide us in Golf, whether Burgess or Star;. Were you touched by this poem? I was married to her for 35 years.. ', Martin and his wife Debbie walk into a dentist's office. They call it golf because all the other four letter words were taken., 6. You are free to use any of the golf verses golf poems golf quotes in your cards scrapbooks text messages however you wish you are also permitted to link to this page or any other page on the site without requesting permission from verses poems quotes. They knew the game, would have delighted in it! Ifas each tree, and rock, and cave of old, Thou hast thy nymph; I ask for nothing but, Now for the second: And here Baird and Clan. The thoughts of Golfso let St. Andrews flourish! The entire rest of the day, it was hit the ball, drag Harry, hit the ball, drag Harry!. The next morning the wife found a small package in the driveway. Dire gnashings of the teeth, and horrid curses. Youre movie star. And despite whatever you once believed, Gosh darn it, you're still alive. Conclusion. of faraway creeks no map. Click on the poem title below to browse through the golf poems both. Play golf.. That little man thats seated on the ground, He talks to WoodJohn Woodwho ranks among. The difference between a whiff and a practice swing - no one curses after a practice swing. The best part is you don't have to find someone to bait your hook. Those were some of the funniest golf poems currently in existence, and we will update this list over time to add more funny golf poems. I don't unerstand the cures That maintenance wizards do It's called defragmenter, span disk, And virus cleaning too!. We lose the match, and all the bets thereon! Nick looks at him forlornly, After all the years weve been friends, youd cheat me on golf for a measly five bucks?, What do you mean cheat? And miss their puttso now the match is square. "Gracious me," she exclaimed red-faced to her caddie, "the worms will think there's an earthquake. Click on the poem title below to browse through the funny . There is no such thing as natural touch. This funny short poem uses a situation grounded in reality to evoke a laugh. Although worried this will slow him up, the younger man says, Of course. To his surprise, the old man plays quickly. "Mistakes are part of the game. What Is Alternate Shot In Golf? I bet the best game ever played. What Does It Mean When Your Golf Tee Flies Backward? Do NOT submit poems here, instead go to the. Guess I took that grumpy old coot act too far, So going to heaven I am not. As Jimmy sank his putt, Matt suddenly jumped out of the cart and dropped his pants. His spoon next Saddell takes, and plays a trump, Mine should have been as good but for a bump, That turnd it off. Brought coin and fashion, betting, and renown, And lords and ladies, knights and squires, to ground. The Waste Land: Five Limericks by Wendy Cope. After the 8th hole, Lou is ahead by one stroke, but slices his ball into the rough on the 9th. A humorous shaggy dog style poem mixing golf and sex. Whether you are looking for a poem about how bad you are at golf, or about your wife who wants you home instead of out at golf, you will find what you are looking for in this collection. Since theyre short on time, they decide to play only 9 holes. Funny Golf Captions. We learn so many things from golf: how to suffer, for instance., 48 Never on any golf course have I been approached by a policeman who said, Lady, you cant play with an ordinary golf ball. Ill have you know Ive been standing on your ball for the last three minutes!, A golfer sliced a ball into a field of chickens, striking one of the hens and killing it instantly. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. Youll have to use a coconut for a ball.. Something thats got to be remembered.. He had just sat on a bee and got a nasty sting and desperately asked his partner to get the stinger out. Herbert Warren Wind, TheStory of American Golf: Its Champions And Championships. The distance was insane, beyond my brain. And had a most terrible fall. Talk birdie to me. No doubt these heathen gods, the very minute. Allan Sherman, AGift of Laughter The Autobiography Of Allan Sherman. If a lot of people gripped a knife and fork as poorly as they do a golf club, they'd starve to death., 38. "I have a tip that can take five strokes off anyone's game: it's called an eraser.". It would be shorter, but much less clever, as a straight joke. James Guerin, Brain Food By shy as ginseng, found only. Never buy a putter until youve seen how well you can throw it. Golf verses poems quotes for your handmade greetings cards and scrapbooks. Short funny golf quotes and sayings the only thing a golfer needs is more daylight ben hogan golf is a good walk spoiled mark twain the most important shot in golf is the next one ben hogan most people play a fair game of golf if you watch them joey adams may thy ball lie in green pastures and not in still waters ben hogan. Every golfer needs the basics to enjoy the game, and that includes the best golf cooler. It Seems a Long Way Off . May the rainbow be certain to follow each rain. Although golf was originally r. From the outfits to the fact that it is ridiculously expensive it s easy to poke fun at the sport. There are three ways to improve your golf game: take lessons, practice constantly or start cheating. Made sport and bustle on North Berwick Links. Subscribe. Whos there? The first player stops, doffs his cap, and bows his head as the procession passes. He brought. The copyright of all poems on this website belong to the individual authors. Far and sure! One may do you good, but if you swallow the whole bottle you will be lucky to survive.. Dressd most correctly in the fancy style. Im sorry, he said, my terrible tee-shot hit one of your hens and killed it. At Golf we contend without rancour or spleen. But one of them got transferred, and they were talking about trying to fill out the foursome. You stand too close to the ball after youve hit it., 26. Confirmed, is wondrous apt to put us out. Well win it yet, if I can cross the ditch: Theyre over, smack! And I know I'm supposed to go toward it, But I'm being waved back the other way. It makes it difficult to tolerate mediocrity. GolfIt is a game that mirrors real life. Required fields are marked *. Now, near the hole Sir David plays the odds; Clan plays the like, and wins it, by the gods! We sincerely hope these poems got a chuckle or two out of you, and encourage you to share some of these with your friends and family! He watches the tournaments and every golf show Down below is a curated list of some of our favorite golf poems (the last one is not a biased selection at all)! 10. There, she discovered a love for singing and acting, and began writing verses which she performed at a local folk club in Oxford. Amy who? The stance and the takeaway, the swing plane and height Wars, storms, and thundersall would have been off! Funny Golf Meme Who Gets Hurt Playing Golf Image. Golf hair - Don't care! Todays Friday and we have a 10:00 AM tee time at the best golf course in town and it's 9:15 already ", The dentist thought to himself, "My goodness, this is surely a very brave man asking to have a tooth pulled without using anything to kill the pain." helpful non helpful. We have a great collection of famous golf poems verses our selection of golf poetry focuses on poems that are about golf and easy to comprehend. and man awakes, by sleep refreshd. Even God cant hit a 1 iron., 35. autosweblog.com. I promise to love you. . Were he but once in Parliament, methinks. He'll mess with his game till it's totally cactus. You want to be the best at saying funny golf words in golf courses or when catching up with the PGA Tour? Birthdays are like golfing - it's a lot more fun if you don't keep count. Part 1. His Golf is better than his evening play: That must be scandal; for I am sure that none. To live life as you please. Its top speed was 15 mph and it had just a 15 mile range it was essentially a golf cart with a windshield wiper and a horn., 69 Golf is a worriers game, inward, concentrated, a matter of inches, invented by the same people who gave us Presbyterianism.. George Deukmejian waxing prophetic. And tracd it down, with choicest skill and grace. Golf Season? The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than golf has., 32. Golf can be soul-crushing. Funny golf sayings and quotes. Where can you find a golfer on a Saturday night? Cheers to a woman. And to crown our devotion, and grateful goodwill. This poem is an excerpt from Poems on Golf, a poetry compilation by the . A golfer hit his ball into the trap. Well playd, my cock! It took one afternoon on the golf course., 25. Jack Benny. 19. Cynthia C. Naspinski Explained! The tip-top hands that to the Club belong; Whose play, at times, can scarcely be surpassd. Alex and Jim are trying to get in a quick 18 holes, but there are two terrible lady golfers in front of them hitting the ball everywhere but where it's supposed to go. The Golf Tragic by Cynthia C. Naspinski - Family Friend Poems. Explained! It seems to say, If you are going to keep company with me, dont embarrass me., 82. From which the best Golfer can never return. It doesn't mean your fit But it will soften any tension It could be consider stress prevention. Will and Guy'sHelpful Guide to Female Golfing Terms. He doesnt hit the ball very far, but it goes straight. TheGolfing with a man can reveal his true character. May time never maim it, nor dishonour stain it; Then drink, brothers, drink, Far and sure!. I just want you to pull the tooth, and be done with it! Golf all the dayand Houris all the night! I have observed, he said in a calm voice, that the best golfers do not use foul language., I guess not, said Steve, what the hell do they have to bitch about?. A trophy now takes pride of place on the shelf, The guys went nuts and everyone in the clubhouse congratulated her. In golf, you can hit a 2-acre fairway 10-percent of the time, but hit a 2-inch branch 90-percent of the time. Can be wrecked by the rains of reverses. . 52 Golf combines two favorite American pastimes: taking long walks and hitting things with a stick.. Dread sound of cleeks, which ever fall in vain, Andfor mere mortal patience is but scanty. There, Doctor Moodie, turtle-like, displays. Little Johnny: then go fuck yourself. I cant wait., 65. #6. Youve just got one problem. They had a beer after their round, and one of the guys asked her, "how do you know if you're going to golf right-handed or left-handed? Now, lift the stones, but do not touch the ball. Golf sits in that beautiful junction between perfection and frustration., 76. ", Martin turned to his wife and said, "Open your mouth and show him, dear.". Funny Poems About Golf or Golf Funny Poems . Funny Poems About Teachers. 4 The People Upstairs by Ogden Nash. Golf Humor. Most everyone can relate to silly poems such as this one. Grandma is someone who is not just loving and super caring but sometimes your biggest cheerleader. search . Nay, more: tho some may doubt, and sneer, and scoff. If you are caught in a storm and are afraid of lightning hold up a 1 iron. Life And Laughter. Billy Graham, QuotesFrom Billy Graham A Legacy Of Faith. Something's gone terribly wrong here, And the tunnel is getting quite hot. We sincerely hope these poems got a chuckle or two out of you, and encourage you to share some of these with your friends and . Golf, Gifts, T, Shirts,, , Posters & Other Gift Im Gettin Closer!, Marbles In My Pocket, The Official Facebook, The games and Golf quotes on Pinterest. Although in lands most distant we sojourn. 1. That Golfing of field sports stands foremost in fame. The Best Informational Products On The Internet Dismiss. far and sure!" fill the bumper and drain it, May our motto for ever endure; May time never maim it, nor dishonour stain it; Then drink, brothers, drink, "Far and sure!". Jimmy Demaret. Well-whiskerd face, and radiant with a smile; He bows, shakes hands, and has a word for all. Explained! Of course, says the old man, when I was your age, that tree was only three feet tall.. ", She said, "Then I'll be here at nine o'clock.". 84. That's why you don't jump off a wall. And retirement shines before you. Mars, Jove, and Neptune would have studied Golf. Some will make you laugh, some will make you smile, and others will make you roll your eyes. Dave Berry, Stay Fit And Healthy Until Youre Dead. We could all smile more while playing the game. How to Become a Professional Golf Instructor? Im a hooker., Thats OK, said the husband. Funniest Short Poems. Golf: a 5-mile walk punctuated with disappointments. So Jim says, 'What's wrong? Does this describe your last round? Funny Golf, Great Gift Idea Home Design 2017. A hole-in-one certificate he presents to me. In addition to funny Poems of famous poets, there is a huge collection of other unique poems in our website. Little Johnny: can your dick touch your asshole?Grandpa answers proudly; 'Yes, it can'. 'Twas not his size. 95 quotes have been tagged as golf. And working there as well as on the Links, The burghs, Ill be bound, would not repent them. But Since I Fell Beneath Its Spell, I've Wandered Through The Fires Of Hell. Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. He answered, Well, on the 4th hole, Harry had a heart attack and died. As long as he has trod St. Andrews Links. You sneezed on Miss Muffet and ruined her clothes. If you play at it, it's recreation. . Golf without Jones would be like France without Paris: leaderless, lightless and lonely.. Pretty soon the one. Big hitter, the Lama. But better play succeeds, these blunders past. He saw a lady playing ahead of him. Cheers. The great thing about starting golf in your forties is that you can start golf in your forties., 79 Just how childlike golf players become is proven by their frequent inability to count past five., 80 You have the opposite of poker face. The best part is if no one laughs at your golf pun you can call a mulligan and try the next one on the list. He decides to play a round and is paired with three locals. If Jove were thus engaged, we did not see him. Reader, attend! It takes a serious amount of balls to golf like I do. Whos there? Inside each and every one of us is one true authentic swing. Is everything alright at home?, Not really, says Rick. Golf is a game in which you yell four, shoot six, and write down five., 30. Get a Free Golf Handicap in the 18Birdies App. Golf is a puzzle without an answer. What high, poetic, awe-struck grand old Golfer. But something nervousthats a bad affair; It sadly spoils his putting, when hes pressd. "Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.". Gerard Manley Hopkins, more Hopkins: Poems. and long. It took one afternoon on the golf course. - Hank Aaron, 45. Its cheaper than a shrink and there are no telephones on my golf cart., See also: Heres One Quote from Every Talk in the October 2021 General Conference, 59. Below youll find our 150 favorite golf jokes and puns. And, Whats the match? are preludes to the play. The 8 Best Golf Poems Ever - Inspirational Golf Poems. Enjoy. In addition to golf poems of famous poets there is a huge collection of other unique poems in our website. Could think of Golf before the rise of sun. That would be too much of a coincidence.. Check out our collection of humorous and funny golf quotes below. The Three Little Pigs by Roald Dahl. Which must descend, and which must rise ahead. Funny Friendship Poems is a collection for those friends in your life that makes you smile or laugh extra hard. Pressure is when you play $5 a hole with only $2 in your pocket., 31. Poet: Catherine Pulsifer. Golf is a game whose aim is to hit a very small ball into an ever smaller hole, with weapons singularly ill-designed for the purpose., 41 Dont play too much golf. Cheat, flatter, humbuganything for gain; And had he trod the worlds wide field, methinks. Whiz goes the chiefa sneezer, by Old Harry! That they had such a man to represent them: Theres one thing onlywhen hes on the roll. Manage Settings There have been novels, short stories, essays, coffee table photo books and collections of art. Of life, when, eager, hoping for the palm. He spouts meaningless numbers and hole-by-hole plays. Caddie: This isn't the golf course, sir, we left that an hour ago. Man from Peru. For the queen of the family. He needs GPS watches and ball picker-uppers, Some of the best golf jokes take a little more time to tell Two golfers are ready to tee off on the 11th hole when a Hurst and funeral procession passes by. And before you know it he wants to trade up; All stories are moderated before being published. He browses the internet and reads magazines; 4. Meanwhile, she was fun and pleasant the entire round. These funny wedding readings and poems will fill your big day with laughter and reflect your personality as a couple . 21. Some clubs wont let you in unless you have a caddy and a cart.. There is no law that says you cannot play golf while being unemployed.. Hear Saddell say, Now, by the piper who the pibroch played, Three five-pound notes to one! Done, sir, with you., We start again; and in this dangerous hole. Im not too sure. Speckled Trout. 6. Relax? Copyright 2022 All Rights Reserved | Powered by Thegoneapp.com, 97 Funny Quotes About Love (Life is serious enough!). ', He gets about halfway there and he turns and comes back, too. Before I leave for the golf course, I pull the covers off my husband, who sleeps in the nude. Sam Snead. Ive seen lifelong friends drift apart over golf just because one could play better, but the other counted better., 25. He must not lose his nerve, as when hes near the hole. ball!" 3 - keep the humor and the poems clean for all ages. Golf is a billion-dollar industry devoted entirely to hope.. As you walk down the fairway of life, you must smell the roses, for you only get to play one round., 8. Next on the funny short poem hit parade is shoeless Pete, who has a problem with both his shoes, and his nose! If you watch a game, its fun. Golf is what you play when youre too out of shape to play other sports. Required fields are marked *. Life is so filled with pleasure, With which I need not decorate my verses. He mustn't give up when his handicap suffers, Rick and John have just finished an arduous round of golf. I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games. - Ben Hogan. When he might give them two, or even more. Check out this collection of funny golf jokes. far and sure! fill the bumper and drain it. A Shaggy Shag Golf Poem. 5 Eletelephony by Laura Elizabeth Richards. Share your thoughts with the other readers in the comments! Funny Golf Quotes For Women. 53 Golf is a day spent in a round of strenuous idleness., 54 The ardent golfer would play Mount Everest if somebody put a flagstick on top., 55 Im not saying my golf game went bad, but if I grew tomatoes, theyd come up sliced., 56 The uglier a mans legs are, the better he plays golf its almost a law., 57 You build a golf game like you build a wall, one brick at a time., 58. The Plot Against the Giant by Wallace Stevens. She replied, I'm on the 7th hole, and you're a hole behind me, so you must be on the 6th hole. There once was a man from Peru. 86. Shriekings thereafter, as of souls in pain. But when we meet, as here, to play at Golf. A tuning fork goes off in your heart and your balls., 45. 2. In no particular order here are some of our favorites. 49. Jean Giraudoux, TheDoctor In TheEnchanted A Comedy In Three Acts. Something that cant be taught to you or learned. O hole! To play the shorts, putt, and be comfortable! I know, bad pun (almost as bad as your golf game). Being one with the club and ball. May 9 2018 explore patricia roma s board golf poems on pinterest. A couple has just gotten married. Could tell, if bodies in the scales were laid. STOP! Bagger Vance, The Legend Of Bagger Vance. I don't say my golf game is bad, but if I grew tomatoes they'd come up sliced., 36. How to Become a Professional Golf Instructor? "Well, where do you want me to start ?" Then why did you mark down eight? asked Bob. Far and sure! there is honour and hope in the sound; Let it guide us in life; at the desk or the bar. Till we are close upon thee, on the green; And tho when seen, save Golfers, few can prize. TheThe fairways, greens. But let him win, and he will beat the best. Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at. You dont know what pressure is until you play for five bucks with only two bucks in your pocket., 4. He might have been prime minister, or priest. Although golf was originally restricted to wealthy, overweight Protestants, today its open to anybody who owns hideous clothing.. "If you think it's hard to meet new people, try picking up the wrong golf ball.". Men of all sizes, tempers, ranks, and ages; The work by day, the source of dreams by night. May you always have work for your hands to do. Youve got to be the worst caddie in the world! he yelled. I havent been completely honest. And then one fine day he's as pleased as can be, A life built on the sands of pleasure. Happy golfing, and go out there and make great memories playing golf! I play golf with friends sometimes, but there are never friendly games., With a big smile, he asks the others, In the States, we call that, . See it's not about who watching. Can I replace the hen?, I dont know about that, replied the farmer, mulling it over. The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one particularly if he plays golf, which he usually does., 17. What do you think my handicap is?". When his caddie then coughed as he steadied himself over a 12-inch putt on the 10th, he lost it. Let Clan and Saddell tackle Baird and me. And demolish a monster when armed with a club; But what were the monsters which Hercules slew. . Is the word spelled P-U-T or P-U-T-T? She asked her instructor. 3 My Shadow by Robert Louis Stevenson. We have a great collection of famous funny Poems / Verses.Our selection of funny Poetry focuses on poems that are about funny and easy to comprehend. Jim gets about halfway there, turns, and comes back so Alex asks, 'What's wrong? The funniest golf poems in existence. Golf is a sport for white men dressed like black pimps." Tiger Woods. But it hooked into the rough, making me feel pain., This is the life of a golf ball roughly slapped, I felt a bit groggy, my meal had been soggy, I raised my club back and unloaded my whip, But I hit myself painfully, forgot to clear my hips, Wailing on the tee box, as if I had stepped on Lego blocks, The spectators laughed, thats what you get when you throw rocks, She says Im losing money to golf like a drug, My wife is mad, unfortunately not mad in love, She says I play too much golf, gave my equipment a shove, Ill burn the house down if you play every day! she said, So I took my clubs out and headquartered in the shed, I started practicing on my backyard putting green, The air smelled good, it was oh so pristine, Until I started smelling smoke, the smell was dire, I turned around and woah, the house was on fire!, Never let them during your swing make a sound, Even if it were carried by a friendly mole!, He yells Hold on!
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